i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
