He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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