My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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