My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm like, not good at living.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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