You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
