That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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