In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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