she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
