I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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