I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
