Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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