she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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