can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
