call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
