Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize