just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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