what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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