im about as happy as oj after his trial
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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