Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
