No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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