You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
