I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
