Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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