Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
