What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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