Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
