We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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