i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
