birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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