my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
