I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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