I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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