Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
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Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.