Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?