Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16