She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
