Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
