Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize