the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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