oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My butt remains clenched, sir.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
