Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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