I just cut my nipple shaving
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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