You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
