I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
