a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
