there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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