The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
