I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
