brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
