What did we do last night that was yellow?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
