So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize