Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
