I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
