stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
