I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize