This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
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Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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