Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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