do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
