turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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