It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
