then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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