I want to stick my p in your. b.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
PANTIES FOUND
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
