saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Found your dick twin last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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