living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
