brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
