YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
