I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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