I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize