grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize