Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.