Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo? http://tfl.nu/r7wm
  Replies (27) Good night (3474) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life. http://tfl.nu/h3s9
  Replies (33) Good night (4912) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (578): View more from

  oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (578): oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home. http://tfl.nu/mth9
  Replies (13) Good night (1109) Bad night (3281)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks. http://tfl.nu/yuy7
  Replies (12) Good night (1715) Bad night (4598)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (933) Bad night (2365)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (4930) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine http://tfl.nu/3ins
  Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left. http://tfl.nu/846c
  Replies (3) Good night (1451) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point http://tfl.nu/0f47
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off. http://tfl.nu/w3pn
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious... http://tfl.nu/0tkk
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed. http://tfl.nu/bj7a
  Replies (12) Good night (359) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps. http://tfl.nu/1h6s
  Replies (4) Good night (1652) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant http://tfl.nu/c3mp
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (198)

Randomize