Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  return my video game

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  (989): return my video game http://tfl.nu/7gzq
  Replies (14) Good night (1153) Bad night (2235)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.

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  (502): We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married. http://tfl.nu/ivvd
  Replies (1) Good night (1790) Bad night (589)
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  (858): View more from California

  i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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  (858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm
  Replies (7) Good night (3117) Bad night (687)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.

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  (617): Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south. http://tfl.nu/h1ys
  Replies (26) Good night (833) Bad night (3196)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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  (616): Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted. http://tfl.nu/14wd
  Replies (17) Good night (777) Bad night (3995)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4793) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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  (847): I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him http://tfl.nu/klkz
  Replies (12) Good night (1964) Bad night (3238)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

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  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (1221) Bad night (7133)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.

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  (317): Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good. http://tfl.nu/6afw
  Replies (30) Good night (8328) Bad night (1351)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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  (716): Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada http://tfl.nu/glbq
  Replies (9) Good night (2477) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.

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  (806): Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk. (1-806): Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess. http://tfl.nu/c175
  Replies (15) Good night (2654) Bad night (1274)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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  (202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7
  Replies (14) Good night (594) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.

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  (337): I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it. http://tfl.nu/cfzm
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (876): View more from Jamaica

  Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch

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  (876): Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch http://tfl.nu/u7hs
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices

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  (519): He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices http://tfl.nu/4vlb
  Replies (0) Good night (140) Bad night (238)

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