Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

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(828): All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU. http://tfl.nu/f6ai

Replies (33) Good night (3328) Bad night (1525)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them

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(603): theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them http://tfl.nu/ul8u

Replies (81) Good night (4233) Bad night (1669)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"

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(204): you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun" http://tfl.nu/u1ro

Replies (34) Good night (7620) Bad night (1221)
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(770): View more from Georgia

theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl

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(770): theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl http://tfl.nu/qhni

Replies (16) Good night (3946) Bad night (1245)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj

Replies (35) Good night (8702) Bad night (1696)
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(614): View more from Ohio

he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

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(614): he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff. http://tfl.nu/tizj

Replies (32) Good night (1308) Bad night (15481)
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(613): View more from Ontario

there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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(613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv

Replies (5) Good night (2642) Bad night (903)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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(501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9

Replies (10) Good night (982) Bad night (3166)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(616): Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son" http://tfl.nu/3jto

Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (769)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM

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(+44): IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM http://tfl.nu/pr8f

Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (551)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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(978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f

Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (644)
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(773): View more from Illinois

we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

you win some, you lose some.

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(773): we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio. (1-773): you win some, you lose some. http://tfl.nu/xyso

Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (491)
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(303): View more from Colorado

it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song

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(303): it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song http://tfl.nu/a9l9

Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (529)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight

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(423): Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight http://tfl.nu/dc8d

Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (276)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers

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(724): Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers http://tfl.nu/rlny

Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (128)

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