Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

(248): View more from Michigan

They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

(713): View more from Texas

lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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(415): View more from California

sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(302): View more from Delaware

As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay

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(757): View more from Virginia

You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.

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(801): View more from Utah

Hey so I got my period

(1-801): View more from Utah

Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months

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(905): View more from Ontario

She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.

(1-905): View more from Ontario

So thats where i built my buckingham palace

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