Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo. http://tfl.nu/8g98
  Replies (14) Good night (1465) Bad night (4140)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9
  Replies (28) Good night (806) Bad night (6162)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp
  Replies (21) Good night (8085) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag. http://tfl.nu/o75p
  Replies (8) Good night (3983) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5
  Replies (17) Good night (5182) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/lx04
  Replies (18) Good night (4556) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  You took a bar mat shot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): You took a bar mat shot. http://tfl.nu/02d5
  Replies (11) Good night (849) Bad night (2733)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us http://tfl.nu/tf0q
  Replies (11) Good night (2285) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5743) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined. http://tfl.nu/ei07
  Replies (4) Good night (1690) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i
  Replies (8) Good night (469) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me. http://tfl.nu/tj8o
  Replies (2) Good night (977) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles. http://tfl.nu/892f
  Replies (16) Good night (640) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (340): Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly. http://tfl.nu/jqvi
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (210)

Randomize