This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
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Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?