i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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