okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
